My New York Moment

Yigal Azrouël Black Lace Cold Shoulder Top (similar) | American Eagle skinny jeans | Steve Madden Carrson sandals

Words in Deep Blue by Cath Crowley

As if moving to a new city by yourself isn’t terrifying enough, there’s also the homesickness. Seeing a tweet from your favorite campus coffee shop in Ohio can cause a certain sense of overwhelming loneliness which clouds through your entire Sunday and gives you a serious case of the Sunday blues.

Then it’s Monday, you’ve had an awful day at work, gotten stood up for dinner plans, and are just done with the day. Picture this with me: You are sitting on the toilet seat next to your roommate’s disco ball vibrator in your tiny Airbnb studio apartment while you choke down a gross chicken quesadilla while you’re sobbing on the phone to your mom. Now I consider myself an optimistic person, but that day I had had it. So I’m thinking, could this get any worse? But this is New York my friends, it can always get worse.

Fast forward to the next day, another day of work and the cherry on top is that yours truly gets dumped out the blue. Like an Elle Woods and Warner Huntington III dumping. I am then once again sobbing in my Airbnb bathroom with the disco ball vibrator while on the phone with my mom because where else am I supposed to go? I don’t even have my own bedroom! (Don’t worry Airbnb is going to get its own blog post with all of its glories don’t you worry). And THEN the next day I win the Aladdin Broadway Lottery and then miss paying for the tickets by 8 minutes. And to top it all off, that night I get food poisoning. Yes, food poisoning. To be honest, I’m not sure what was worse: the heartbreak or the food poisoning.

Overall, I’m not sure whether to blame the Solar Eclipse yesterday for throwing my whole universe out of whack or maybe it’s just my bad luck – but life happens.

New York City is not for the faint of heart – there are so many beautiful people with ugly hearts, disgusting smells, rude baristas, and slow walkers. And don’t even get me started on the TOURISTS (I’m a total hypocrite I know). So what’s the point of me telling you my sad sob story of the time I hit rock bottom this past week? Should I just blame it all on the solar eclipse? The point is that this is all going to be worth it one day. I am constantly reminded every day that I am living in one of the greatest cities in the entire world, and like Alexander Hamilton, “I am not throwing away my shot.” I am so fortunate to be able to live here, and it makes me even more determined to make it here.

So this was my New York moment. I hit rock bottom, but it’s only up from here my friends. I mean I could just keep listening to “Total Eclipse of the Heart” while eating Bareburger alone for dinner every night but I’m not going to do that. I’ll put on a facemask, the Dear Evan Hansen Broadway cast album, freshen up that resume, and re-download Bumble. This is New York City – you can do or be anything you want to. And things are bound to get better eventually.

Xx Tracie

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1 Comment

  • Reply
    August 22, 2017 at 2:26 pm

    <3 <3 Good Luck, girl!!! and lovely photos!

    xx Rebecca

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